Spin Doctor
by fififolle
Summary: Elizabeth Weir had learned how to be economical with the truth. One day, she realises there is something she cannot hide. McKayWeir angstdramaromance.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

**Spoilers: Rising, Home, The Storm, The Eye**

**A/N: **Written for the **McKay/Weir Ficathon 2006**, in response to a challenge from **dahan**, to include a spilled drink, a secret hiding place, junk food, a mention of colored lighting. With many thanks to **LittleKnux2008** for another great beta. This fic is not perhaps what was expected, but I'm pretty pleased, hope you like ;) Full details and links will be available at mcweir central forum. Daily posts here - 4 chapters, word count 4400-ish.

**Summary:** Elizabeth Weir had learned how to be economical with the truth. One day, she realises there is something she cannot hide. McKay/Weir - angst/drama/romance.

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**Chapter One**

"Tell me again, Elizabeth." Her father was stern, unyielding.

The young girl blinked, and swallowed hard, but her voice was trembling. "I didn't take any, Father."

"Hold out your hands," he commanded, in his deep voice.

She slowly drew her small, pale hands from behind her back, and stretched them out in front of her; the little fists clenched tight, knuckles translucent with effort. Her huge hazel-green eyes bulged with a kind of fear.

"Open them."

As she turned her hands over, the forbidden chocolate was exposed, now warm, and the foil crushed.

The man threw back his head and laughed before bending down close to his daughter, to hiss into her ear, "Only fools get caught. You need to learn to hide things better."

Elizabeth stood stock still as she watched her father walk away, chuckling to himself and shaking his head. She blinked, and sniffed, but she never cried. When she was sure he had gone, she unwrapped the chocolate and ate it.

She was never caught again.

**0o0o0**

Simon slammed one hand down onto the kitchen worktop. "I don't want to hear it, Elizabeth!" He dragged the other hand through his short hair.

She put her bags down and removed her coat, almost indifferent to Simon's anger. "The conference was changed at the last minute. I didn't think you would be interested."

He almost growled with frustration. "No. Just don't! I've had it up to here with your… fabrications." They both knew he had almost said 'lies'. "You tell me you're in India, but you come back on the flight from the Philippines. Can't you be straight about anything? When do you ever tell me the truth? This isn't just about flights and conferences. Is there anything I really know about you? You… you tell me your favourite flowers are roses, but your mother says you like freesias better. How do I know what you really think?"

Elizabeth blinked. "I hardly think changing my mind about which flowers I like constitutes misleading behaviour. Besides, I didn't expect you to collect me from the airport. You're over-reacting."

"Am I?" he countered heatedly, "There must be dozens of other examples, I'm just too upset right now to list them all. Can't you let me in, Elizabeth? I'm supposed to be your partner, damn it."

"What are you t-talking about?" she stammered, begin to fix herself a drink. But in her heart, she knew.

"You treat me like a client. You twist everything so I'll hear what I want to hear," he sighed. "I don't want us to be this way." He laid a hand gently on her arm, causing her to freeze on the spot.

"I'm a good diplomat, Simon," she whispered, looking at the floor. "That's who I am."

He sighed again, and put his arms around her, "I know," he breathed, "I just wish I knew who you really were, but I don't think you even know yourself."

**TBC**  



	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Apologies for posting too early. Old e-mails on old computer. Me using new shiny computer. Me sorry, but happy.

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**Chapter Two**

Elizabeth's mind was racing as she walked through the corridor. Sam Carter had given a tantalising account of the astrophysicist, and she couldn't wait to meet the man in person. There was no question that Dr Rodney McKay would be involved in the Antarctica outpost – after all, his intelligence was second only to Carter's, as she had put it. How Elizabeth was actually going to get along with the man? Well, that was the crux of the matter, wasn't it? She remembered Carter's description – McKay was 'essentially unpredictable'. That had been the printable version, at least.

"Dr McKay?" she knocked on the door of the open laboratory. She had been told he was here, 'catching up on a few things' while he was back in Cheyenne Mountain. She hadn't scheduled a meeting with him; she had just sent word she would find him when he got here. It was the best way to approach him, she was sure. Few astrophysicists were designed for formal meetings.

The man turned around and looked her over. She studied his face carefully, as she did with everyone she met for the first time. His expression revealed that he could guess who she was, but that she may not have been quite what he was expecting.

"Dr Weir?" he asked. He was confident, but neutral in his tone.

She smiled. "Yes. Dr Elizabeth Weir." She held out her hand, and he shook it firmly. "Perhaps you would like to talk over lunch?" She had been told that he was fond of food, and he would probably be more receptive to her plans if they shared a meal together. It was a standard technique to use on his type.

Letting go of her hand, his brow furrowed a little, and he rubbed his hands together nervously. She blinked, watching him carefully, trying to detect the source of his procrastination.

"Thing is, Dr Weir, I wanted to ask, before we get right down to business, I mean, have you any idea how big this thing is…?" He was pacing now, his hands gesturing in small, rapid movements, his thumbs flicking nervously, "…because this could be the biggest thing any human has dealt with, in, well, ever, even accounting for the 'gate here in Cheyenne. I'm just saying, I really need to know, it's just…" he stopped pacing and pointed both fingers at her, with his hands low, like some kind of high noon cowboy, but his face was nervous, and his tone almost apologetic, "Do you think you are up to this job?"

She knew he wasn't questioning her skill, or her qualifications. She knew it from his tone, his face, his stance. The man was genuinely concerned about her appointment. Dr McKay had an obvious personal vested interest in the very fabric of this expedition. She wasn't quite sure if it was purely related to how he saw success - there was something else about him that she hadn't quite put her finger on yet. She would.

"Dr McKay, I…" As she began to respond, as she lifted her eyebrows slightly to begin a carefully crafted speech about her absolute confidence in her ability, she instantly noticed his face change. It almost caught her off guard; she'd never experienced anything like it. She actually watched his face fall. He took on a sad, pleading look, almost verging on disappointment, and she could tell it would go that way if she continued. This man wasn't interested in pretty speeches. He needed to know what she really thought.

"Well…" As she switched tack, she saw his mouth lift in anticipation, and she took a deep breath. She didn't know why she wanted to respond honestly, but something in his face had made it so. "I know what I'm capable of, and I want to get the best out of everyone involved. What we have in Antarctica is special, I know that much, and I want to work with you to make the most of it."

He grinned. She'd never seen anyone so happy with an answer that was so lacking in spin. Sure, she'd been optimistic, even glossed over an actual answer to his question. But she certainly hadn't lied. She could tell he knew that as well. That surprised her, given some of what Carter had said, but she could tell. Her answer had satisfied him. But he had another surprise for her. Maybe she hadn't quite realised his desire to see the truth from her.

He looked her up and down, and kind of squinted at her. "Are you _really_ hungry?"

She almost blushed. Could he see through her ploy so easily? Smiling, she found herself saying, "Not really, no. But I would like to join you for lunch - I heard you never miss the first service. I really want to talk about the expedition. Why not get down to business as soon as possible?"

He gave her a knowing smile, and she felt he was reading her mind, hearing every thought she had had since she stepped through the door. Essentially unpredictable, indeed.

"Fine. You're right, it's always best to get there before anyone else. More choice, less congealment. And I have so much to tell you, Elizabeth - can I call you Elizabeth? I have so many things you need to know…"

As she followed him out of the lab, she had the feeling that dealing with her chief scientist was going to be a sometimes delicate, often unpredictable, and perhaps a strangely amusing task.

**TBC**  



	3. Chapter 3

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**Chapter Three**

"Well, here we are – home." Rodney looked across at Elizabeth as they all walked into the Gateroom. Holding her gaze for a few seconds, he then grinned, and began heading down the steps, "I am so starving. I just have to go to the mess right now." As he headed away, he pointed a demanding finger at one of the Marines standing guard, "You! Power bar. Now!" sending the Marine scrabbling in his pockets and hurrying after him, as Rodney clicked his fingers and kept walking.

Being unconscious on the planet where the mist beings lived had left them all a little hungry, and Elizabeth told the remaining team members to follow Rodney and get some food and rest. Debriefing would be in one hour.

Elizabeth headed straight up to her office. She wanted to prepare for her report before she attended to her physical needs.

Barely fifteen minutes had passed before Rodney appeared in the doorway. "Um… Elizabeth. Are you OK?"

She looked up. There he was. Concern all over his face. How did someone with such a large ego have space to accommodate her? She hadn't figured that one out yet, but she wasn't complaining. And there was no use making up an answer. From the first day they'd met, she had learned that she had to tell Rodney the absolute truth, or he would know, and complain bitterly. It had taken some getting used to, it had even been uncomfortable at times, but now she had a completely open working relationship with her chief scientist, and one that provided her with a strong and surprisingly warm friendship.

Rubbing her forehead, she replied, "I need to eat, I just wanted to make a start on the report." She smiled at him, "Thanks for asking, Rodney. I'm going to the mess in a moment."

His smile twitched nervously, "Good. I just got worried when you never appeared." He had heard with his own ears and seen with his own eyes that she was fine, and she knew that was enough for him. He turned and made to leave. One hand on the doorjamb, he looked back.

"You did mean Atlantis, didn't you? When you said to dial 'home', I mean?" He rarely gave her that look now. It was the one laced with almost-disappointment. She couldn't remember the last time she had ever even attempted to deceive him on any level, so she only saw it when they had a genuine misunderstanding, or when he was uncertain about how she might feel about something.

"Yes, Rodney. I meant Atlantis. I wouldn't sacrifice those mist beings just for us to see Earth. And I think Atlantis really is home now, don't you?" It was true. Rodney, John, Aiden, Teyla, the whole team – they had become her friends, her family. They had carved out a life together, shared so much. She didn't feel anything was missing.

Believing that she was back with Simon had turned out to be shocking. She'd slipped back into it, but deep down she wondered why he hadn't broken it off. Her video message telling him to get on with his life should have been the final cowardly straw. She'd never been totally honest with Simon, she knew that now. When they had been together, it hadn't seemed such a big deal, and even when she had first experienced the illusion of being reunited with him, it hadn't immediately occurred to her. But after the first day, she found herself seeing her relationship with Simon in a new light. What they had was artificial, even superficial. How appropriate to see it that way through an illusion.

She thought to herself, '_What I have with Rodney is so much more real_…' and she was pleased to discover the truth in that. She blinked, watching him wander across to her desk.

"Yes, I guess you're right. Atlantis is home now. Come on, I haven't had my dessert yet." Rodney held out a hand, and she grinned, grabbed his hand gratefully, and let him pull her out of her chair.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Elizabeth cast her eyes down at his bandaged arm, and found herself feeling a little light-headed. Rodney was grinning happily, as if he had just saved the city from an enormous tsunami wave, through sheer guts and glory, which he had. Elizabeth felt she could not even look at his face, and turned away, feigning amusement in John's comment about booking a day off for the next big storm.

She hurried into her office, and closed the door, leaning heavily on it, breathing hard. Damn it! How could she face him? Rodney always saw right through her. She had never been able to lie to him, even with her eyes. Rodney McKay had gone one step too far today and revealed their honest bond for what it truly was – he loved her, and she… cared very deeply… yes… no… she loved him.

Sighing, she closed her eyes. He probably did love her. He was going to want to tell her what he was going to say at the grounding station. There would be no embarrassing cover up as there had been when John was about to die. Sure, John had wanted to express his appreciation for what she'd done for him, and she cared a lot about the brave Air Force Major who had given up so much to join the expedition. But what Rodney was going to say… how could she face that?

She couldn't see how it would work – the two of them. Leadership complicated things. And yet… seeing his arm, the blood, hearing him try to explain - her heart had opened to the truth. It hadn't been love at first, but that's what it had become. Her first instinct was to hide it, like she had done with all her forbidden chocolate when she was a little girl. Only she couldn't hide anything from Rodney. She never had been able to. She didn't know what to do.

She almost jumped when she heard the tapping.

"Elizabeth?"

Rodney was tapping on the door of her office. Wide-eyed, she looked left and right. The door was concealing her, but he only had to take a step to one side and peer through the glass panel to see she was there. Not to mention he'd probably seen her come in here.

Sighing, she turned around and slowly opened her office door. There he was, peering at her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and he was worried he'd broken it.

"Elizabeth, are you OK? I guess I need to talk to you, but… I mean, you don't usually close your door, and I know we just almost lost the city… I thought…"

She almost told him. She almost explained why she had to run away. She almost told him how strongly she felt about him.

"Sorry, Rodney. I just needed a moment. If you'll excuse me, I… Rodney?" She noticed again his poorly bandaged arm, "You really did that dressing yourself, didn't you? You need to get it seen to properly, OK?" She reached out to him, touched his shoulder. She pulled her hand back quickly, feeling irrationally as if he would sense her feelings through her touch. His face was confused, even hurt. She could tell already that he knew she was keeping something from him.

"I will," he said quietly.

Elizabeth knew he was watching her back as she hurried away to the stairs. She rushed to her quarters and climbed onto her bed, squeezing herself into the corner and hugging her arms around her knees. Part of her wanted Rodney to be holding her. She'd always felt good around him, and today he'd protected her with his life. She wanted to thank him, tell him that she… cared very deeply for him. But she was so scared. She'd never felt this way about anyone. Not like this. She'd never been so honest about everything with anyone before. Taking it any further was terrifying. Yet this was one thing she knew she could never hide. There was no secret hiding place for this feeling. No hole in the wall to push it into. No crack in the tree to conceal it. No four-hundred-page agreement to slip it into.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there. Finally, brushing a threatening tear from her eye, she slipped off her bed and began to make coffee. She needed to do something, that was for sure. She wasn't quite ready to face the mess hall.

Just as she poured the dark, hot liquid into her cup, she heard him at the door. She startled, almost spilling the coffee.

"Elizabeth, I know you're in there." Rodney sounded concerned. "Do you know what time it is?"

With a deep breath, knowing she couldn't really hide forever, she opened the door and let him in. He carried a tray of food, enough for at least four people, never mind two.

"Where have you been? It's late, you obviously haven't eaten." He fussed about at the table, putting out some food.

Elizabeth hugged herself tight as she watched him taking things from the tray and laying them out. She looked at his arm – he had a fresh, more professional bandage on it, and he now wore a short-sleeved uniform shirt. He must have taken that visit to the infirmary after all.

He turned around, and looked her up and down, "We can eat… or we can talk." He visibly gulped. They might be open with each other, but this was much more personal.

She blinked, rubbing her hands over her upper arms. "Thank you, Rodney. For bringing food. I appreciate it."

"I was worried about you. You're not…"

"Acting normal?"

"No."

She sighed, "You always see right through me, Rodney." She looked away.

He paused, before he said quietly, "You're hiding from me, aren't you?"

She daren't say anything. She hated to let him believe it was because she didn't want to hear what he was going to say at the grounding station, but her fear was paralysing her.

Rodney reached around and picked up the tray. "It's OK. I understand. Just make sure you eat something."

He stepped forward, towards the door, but paused as he was close to her. "Sorry," he murmured, and moved away, reaching an arm out to open the door.

Hearing his pain, Elizabeth knew she really couldn't do this to him. "Rodney, wait."

He turned, and she looked at him, her huge hazel-green eyes blinking, betraying a kind of fear. She fought it with all her might.

"Stay. Please. It's not what you think." She walked away from him and kept her back turned. "I know we need to talk. I just wasn't ready. Maybe I'll never be ready. Stay. Talk to me. Please."

Rodney stared at her back for a moment, then sat down at the table, poking at some of the food. "OK… Well… I think you know… I needed to tell you what I was going to say. I wanted to tell you why I stood in front of the gun. But I guess you know why. I'm not real good at keeping my feelings hidden, 'Lizabeth." He glanced up and watched as Elizabeth turned around.

She handed him a cup of coffee, and kept the other for herself, stepping back to lean against the cupboard, holding the cup tight in two hands.

With a small ironic smile, she said, "I suppose I've never been able to hide things from you either, Rodney. You're the only person I've always told the truth to. It scares me." She gave a nervous half-laugh, and took a sip of coffee, trying to keep her eyes cast down all the while.

"So… do you want to know what I was going to say?"

She shook her head, "No… yes… I don't know."

"I need you to know." Rodney pushed the coffee away, stood up, and walked across to her, standing quite close, and took a deep breath, before continuing to speak softly, "I was going to say, _if this doesn't work_, I just wanted you to know, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever known. You have the most incredible eyes, and a warm heart. You treat me like I'm someone who matters, and I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms and kiss you forever and ever."

Elizabeth looked up into his wide eyes. He looked vulnerable and afraid under the diffuse blue light of her quarters. She couldn't help her incredulous, amused look, "You were going to say all that?"

He frowned, "Yes, well, not exactly those words, I don't think, but something along those lines, probably, I mean, we were under a lot of stress, and the rain and everything, I've pretty much forgotten what my exact words were, but I…."

Elizabeth was giggling now, trembling with mixed emotions, and she slipped one hand from her mug to reach out and touch him, and the whole situation conspired to slosh a wave of coffee out of the mug and over her midriff.

"Oh, damn. Agh." Elizabeth looked down in dismay, depositing her dripping cup behind her, and holding the soaked fabric away from her front.

"Elizabeth! Are you OK? It's not hot, is it? I am so sorry, that is totally my fault." Rodney grabbed the lower edge of his own shirt, and hauled his top off, "Here, quick, take off yours and put this on. I won't look, I swear."

The coffee had been only mildly hot, but her top was certainly uncomfortable, and she wanted nothing more than to take it off. The shock of seeing Rodney remove his own top halted her momentarily, but then she whipped her top off and grabbed his, dragging it over her head as quickly as possible.

"Thank you," she rolled her soiled top into a ball and laid it on the worktop.

Rodney opened his eyes, and wrapped his arms around his chest. "Are you OK?"

She nodded, finding it hard to take her eyes off his bare torso. She knew she was staring, her eyes like saucers perhaps. She tried to flick her gaze up into his eyes, and she was mildly successful.

"Elizabeth?"

"Hmm…?"

"Why are you…? Oh. Wait. Hey, let me see your eyes again." Rodney held his arms out and gently touched her shoulders, as he leaned forward slightly, peering at her.

Elizabeth found it nearly impossible to drag her focus off his frontal exposure, but she did as asked and blinked at him. "Hmmm…?"

He was screwing up his face in concentration, "This cannot be happening. You feel the same way, don't you? Oh my god, you didn't want me to _see_. I can _see_ it in your eyes. Oh my god, you feel the same way."

It was another of Rodney's half-conversations, where he expected you to follow what was going on, because if you didn't get the point, you didn't deserve to be there. Not that he had ever really had one of those conversations with her, but she'd seen them often enough. It was so enjoyable to be part of this one; she was really finding it incredibly comforting and natural, as well as highly entertaining. Not to mention quite satisfying to watch his rather pleasant body displayed in front of her.

Nodding, she stepped forward until he instinctively wrapped his arms around her, sending a delightful frisson through her body as she slipped her hands over his back. She suddenly felt a liberation of her emotions, and nothing had ever felt so real. "I can't hide it from you, Rodney. I'd be a fool to think I could. I might as well admit it, and enjoy the view." She giggled again, and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Oh thank god," he breathed, resting his chin on top of her head, and crushing her close. "I thought you might not talk to me ever again. I was so scared for you today, I really thought…"

Elizabeth pulled away a little, and placed a finger over his lips, bringing silence for a moment. "Rodney. This is terrifying enough. You're making me more nervous."

He stood quietly, his eyes locked on hers, as they reached a kind of equilibrium. Elizabeth finally moved one hand from his shoulder and traced a finger down over his collarbone.

"Aren't you cold?" she found the courage to meet his strong gaze.

"Uh uh," he shook his head slightly, as he continued to look into her eyes.

"Your top is lovely and warm," she ventured.

"Looks good on you."

"Makes me feel… safe. This… Being in your arms… It's good." She could feel his broad hands moving on her, and she'd never felt so truly loved.

He nodded, "Yes. Yes it is. Very good." He leaned in and gently kissed her. "I would have given my life for you… Well, if there'd been absolutely no other option." He glanced away, frowning again.

She smiled, and placed a hand behind his head to draw him closer, "I know." Their lips met again, and the kiss grew deep and intense. Her voice was a warm sound against his mouth, "I love you for who you are, Rodney, and who you have made me. And that's the truth."

**_FIN _**

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**A/N: **Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks to dahan for some great prompts, which I abused mercilessly, and had fun.


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